Promise Me
by rightxhere
Summary: [Zoobabies] All he wanted was to love her....


**Title: **Promise Me  
**Author: **Demelza  
**Fandom:** CSI: New York  
**Pairing:** Danny/Lindsay  
**Spoilers:** Ep 3.02 "Not What it Looks Like"  
**Genre: **Angst  
**Rating:** O15 (over-fifteen)  
**Warnings:** A very slight smidgen of smut...but nothing major.  
**Disclaimer: **CSI: New York and its characters belong to Jerry Bruckheimer, CBS and its other owners. No infringements of these copyrights are intended, and are used here without permission.  
**Feedback:** Never a requirement, but more than welcome.  
**Notes: **Beta'd by **iluvroadrunner6** (LJ), but any and all errors you find within are at fault of my own inability to write without muddling things up :)

For so long it had all been in fun. She had told him that's all it could be, and he had told her he was fine with that.

He never meant for things to change. After all, he was Danny Messer, and while there had been one or two women in his life whom he'd loved, he had never _fallen_ in love. He didn't _fall_ in love.

At least...never like this; never the way he had fallen in love with her; never with such a debilitating conviction.

Standing helplessly on the other side of the glass as Mac got her statement, he couldn't help but think how close he had come to losing her today. And maybe that's what it was. Maybe this feeling of "falling in love" was actually deep concern? Maybe he was over-analyzing all his irrational thoughts of today, and had been mistaken in what the raging thoughts really meant?

_No_, the voice in his head told him. He wasn't mistaken. He'd come so close to losing her in the explosion when Flack got badly injured; she could have easily died, and that night when he had made love to her, he knew then he was starting to feel more for her than he'd promised he would.

He, despite every rebuttal, was in love with her, and while every reasonable thought in his head told him she was going to be okay, _that she hadn't been hurt_, he had a desperate need to have his arms around her again. He needed to hold her tight...but even when he had, his heart had screamed at him to never let her go.

There was movement in Mac's office then and Danny's heart raced as Lindsay rose to her feet.

Mac's eyes met Danny's, and he swallowed, before following Lindsay with his eyes as she walked out of the office, her arms wrapped around her.

"Hey," he murmured, turning to her when she stopped beside him.

"Mac's sending me home early," she said, smiling a small, yet wounded, smile.

It was just like her, too. Not wanting to go home while the case still had some work left to be done on it. Paperwork, _but work just the same_. He smiled back, "Me also," he replied, his voice low.

Lindsay, staring up at him, stood there silently for a long moment, when she let out a sigh and shook her head. "You were right."

"Hey, no...no I wasn't," Danny said, moving toward her. Using his right hand, he tenderly touched her face, smiling again. "You did good in there today, Linds. You..." He couldn't finish.

Her eyes welling with tears, she smiled softly, her eyes drifting shut at his continued touch. "Take me home, Danny," she murmured, softly moaning as he lightly caressed her cheek. "Please...take me home."

He nodded slowly, his lips parting with, "Okay."

Danny stood silently behind Lindsay as she turned the key in the door, and when she stepped inside, her steps slow and uneven, he took one step forward, then stopped. As her own steps slowed, he realized she had sensed his non-movement, and his stomach knotted when she turned to look at him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

If they didn't already, his shoulders felt weighted down. Everything inside him wanted to allow his heart what his body craved – to be near her, to hold her close, to make love to her – but the feelings he had only today realized stopped him from taking another step.

She didn't want this. She didn't want him. She didn't want _that_ Danny. She didn't want the Danny that was _in love_ with her.

But she moved. She closed the gap between them and tenderly took hold of his left hand in hers, bringing back memories of that doll hospital case not so many months ago now. He had held her hand that day, and now she was holding his.

The look in her eyes then told him truths she knew she had so-long denied her voice, and though he yearned to hear the words, the ones that echoed the way he felt about her, he reminded himself she didn't want this, that she didn't want the same things his heart wanted, and he had to step away; he had to be the voice of reason. Only, while he thought he was moving away from her, he was moving closer.

Somewhere between stepping through the doorway and following her into the sunset-filled bedroom, he had pushed the door shut behind him with his foot, and his lips were suddenly lightly caressing hers. Lindsay, with her soft and enticing lips, mesmerized him in ways no other woman ever had. Danny tried to deny it, he tried to fight it, but the more she kissed him – the more he kissed her back – the less strength he had to stop this from going any further.

They were only a few feet from the bed when they stopped, their lips parting long enough for Danny's gaze to momentarily shift to the unmade bed. They had been in such a rush to get to work, she had teasingly told him on the way that he'd better be dropping by after work to help make it up.

He swallowed at the memory, feeling Lindsay's hands trailing down his chest. He gazed down at her again, like he had done so many times before. This time was different though. This time, everything had changed. The look in her eyes told him her every emotion was spiraling out of control, and when her lips parted breathlessly he wanted it all to go back to the way it was. Back when it was uncomplicated. He'd have never given a second thought to being here with her, but now? Now he wasn't so sure he could do this.

Then, four words left her lips.

"Danny..." she breathed, making his breath catch in his chest. "I need you..."

Her eyes, the softness of her voice...

No thought, a need like nothing Danny had felt before rushed through him and he captured Lindsay's mouth with such a heat it left her breathless.

He'd never kissed her like that before, and as he pulled away her eyes told him she wanted him to do it again.

And, he did.

He cupped her chin with his right hand, lifting her face to his before craning his neck and kissing her softly, slowly deepening the kiss.

Her hands found his chest, and as they inched lower he traced his fingers down her throat, to her collarbone. He pushed her jacket onto her shoulders with both hands. Emptiness flooded through him when her hands left his stomach – even though the absence was only for a moment – and when her jacket landed on the floor, the light thud was enough to set them in motion once again, and Danny guided Lindsay backward, toward the bed, his lips staying locked with hers.

All his inhibitions had faded, and when they reached the bed she helped him remove his shirt, then they were working on hers. She lay on her back, her favorite soft pillow beneath her head, and he lay alongside her, releasing one button, then the next, each without his mouth leaving hers.

When the last of the buttons came undone, he ran his fingers over her toned belly, the fabric of her tank top reminding him once again how she could have died today. He kissed her harder then, fighting the emotions that were building inside him, when Lindsay's hand met his shoulder and she gently pushed him away.

_Guilt._ It rushed through him as he opened his eyes, staring down at her. "Linds..." he murmured, searching her eyes.

Her hand at his shoulder still, she moved it to his neck, a breath visibly catching in her throat. Her eyes, so full of need, gazed back at him, _tiredly_. "Hold me...can you...please...?"

Danny nodded, laying his head on the pillow beside her. He put his right arm around her, moving his face closer to hers. "I will," he whispered, "I'll never let you go."

She was more tired now, her voice weakening. "Promise me, Danny."

He kissed her forehead; laid his head back where he had been resting seconds before. "I promise."

"...thank...you..."

Her eyes drifted shut, and he smiled a painful smile at the peaceful look on her face, choked on the tears he was desperate to shed.

"...Danny...?"

Fighting the tears, he swallowed them back. "Yeah?"

As he waited for an answer, Lindsay's breathing changed, it grew deeper, more even, and he knew she had fallen asleep there beside him, with his arm around her.

And while he should have been happy, and really he was, _he was in love with her. _Desperately, _painfully_ in love with her, and his heart broke because that wasn't what she wanted. His heart broke because he could never tell her. He could never tell her that if being with her, if loving her this much was even a mere ounce of what heaven felt like, _he wanted to die_.


End file.
